 |
| Label written in the shittiest handwriting I could muster |
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Harry Potter (Part I)
I made some butterbeer. Enjoy the picture as I get ready to work my 6 and a half hour shift and then go straight to the premier. I'll blog about how everything went afterwards~
12 oz cream soda + 3.5 tablespoons of butterscotch syrup. In case you wanted to know for your own premier drink enjoyment
Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Haunted E-Zine
Hey, internet! I've been pretty busy for the past few days (working three jobs and keeping my social life intact before I go off to college is pretty taxing and I'll be damned if I can illustrate new entries or even type meaningful stuff, but I promise you, more content is on the way.
I'm here today to share another blog, one that I have really high hopes for since I love horror stories. The Haunted E-Zine is a blog hosted here on Blogspot being edited by Peter J. Towns, who's trying as hard as possible to promote it. I don't really have many followers (just some RL friends and lurkers, really), but I figured that projects like these - ones that help out all the aspiring horror writers out there with nowhere to share their works - aren't all that common and really need as much help as possible!
So if you're interested just follow the blog. Maybe retweet a post from @TheHauntedEZine. Or read the first story there, "Hazmat" by Sean Capelle, a true rollercoaster of a psychological horror flash fic.
Okay, I'm rambling now! And using too many exclamation points. It almost makes me want to make an entire post about extreme punctuation.
Some other new things. I've adopted a new style - I gave up on finding my tablet pen and started using the pen tool a lot instead of the brush tool. Experimented a bit with a Homestuck comic thing and I'm getting pretty used to it.
Also, I have a million creepy pictures. And three ironic movie posters. And a blog entry that will border on internet drama. And pretty much no time.
So yeah! Give The Haunted E-Zine a look and stay tuned for more, uh, stuff!
I'm here today to share another blog, one that I have really high hopes for since I love horror stories. The Haunted E-Zine is a blog hosted here on Blogspot being edited by Peter J. Towns, who's trying as hard as possible to promote it. I don't really have many followers (just some RL friends and lurkers, really), but I figured that projects like these - ones that help out all the aspiring horror writers out there with nowhere to share their works - aren't all that common and really need as much help as possible!
So if you're interested just follow the blog. Maybe retweet a post from @TheHauntedEZine. Or read the first story there, "Hazmat" by Sean Capelle, a true rollercoaster of a psychological horror flash fic.
Okay, I'm rambling now! And using too many exclamation points. It almost makes me want to make an entire post about extreme punctuation.
 |
| This is the maniacal joy I get out of grammar. Or something. |
Also, I have a million creepy pictures. And three ironic movie posters. And a blog entry that will border on internet drama. And pretty much no time.
So yeah! Give The Haunted E-Zine a look and stay tuned for more, uh, stuff!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Spiders
Normally I'm prettygentle and nice to animals if I do say so myself. I stay away from meat, try and let bugs go instead of squishing them, and all things of the sort. I've always even thought spiders were kinda cute. You know, helping out the ecosystem by eating pesky mosquitoes and all...
The thing about spiders is, I was mistaken.
Gravely mistaken.
At job #2, not the craft store one and not the animal shelter one but the one where I work around the house for a family member in the middle of nowhere, spiders are not a new thing. They tend to nest everywhere, and pop up when you least expect them, i.e. when you're painting a fence.
They're not the super-poisonous sort, mind you. Nor are they the black, bulbous things you imagine when you hear "spider." They're more of the harvestmen sort.
Despite what myths might tell you, they're not at all dangerous. But believe me, they are creepy as hell. To be honest, I'd rather fight off a black widow than have one of these long-legged bastards land on my arm just staring at me with its round, eyeless body. And it doesn't help that their long legs look like some freakish alien proboscis ready to probe you.
While one is usually not a bother (I can typically ignore them), there was something about that day. Something about the proximity to the woods, and the eerie stillness in the air. As if... there were no flies, no mosquitoes, not even a lone hornet that braved this part of the fence. Little did I know I was being watched.
That's when the revelation hit me.
They're everywhere.
Little did they know, I was armed. Armed with a power washer. And you don't scare Kopaka13 when Kopaka13 is armed.
All rationality and sanity vanished about then. My conscience tried to warn me about the serious karmic repercussions of actions such as these, but stupidly it took the form of a cricket.
Let's just say that's the last I'll be hearing from him for a while.
At that moment there was more overzealous water-spraying than there would be had somebody provided Gilmour and Water fire hoses and pitted them against each other in a death match back in '79 (if that metaphor makes any sense idunnolol)
This shittily thrown together piece of silhouette action cannot properly describe the paranoia that passed in those passing seconds. And that's when... it all stopped. I was filled with tremendous guilt. What have I done? They never did anything. Other than look like they crawled out of the bowels of J.J. Abrams' most bizarre erotic fantasy. Other than that. They did nothing to me. They did nothing to merit such a cruel and watery death.
In those exact words. Okay maybe they're embellished a bit.
Either way I knew there was only one option left. The words of Nietzsche out of a book I've never read flashed through my head as I aimed the power washer, finger steady on the trigger. It was time to power wash my brains out.
Gravely mistaken.
At job #2, not the craft store one and not the animal shelter one but the one where I work around the house for a family member in the middle of nowhere, spiders are not a new thing. They tend to nest everywhere, and pop up when you least expect them, i.e. when you're painting a fence.
They're not the super-poisonous sort, mind you. Nor are they the black, bulbous things you imagine when you hear "spider." They're more of the harvestmen sort.
Despite what myths might tell you, they're not at all dangerous. But believe me, they are creepy as hell. To be honest, I'd rather fight off a black widow than have one of these long-legged bastards land on my arm just staring at me with its round, eyeless body. And it doesn't help that their long legs look like some freakish alien proboscis ready to probe you.
 |
 | ||
| Ewwwww, a spider. |
They're everywhere.
Little did they know, I was armed. Armed with a power washer. And you don't scare Kopaka13 when Kopaka13 is armed.
 | ||
| THIS TOOK 5 SECONDS TO DRAW OK |
Let's just say that's the last I'll be hearing from him for a while.
 | |
| DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS |
At that moment there was more overzealous water-spraying than there would be had somebody provided Gilmour and Water fire hoses and pitted them against each other in a death match back in '79 (if that metaphor makes any sense idunnolol)
This shittily thrown together piece of silhouette action cannot properly describe the paranoia that passed in those passing seconds. And that's when... it all stopped. I was filled with tremendous guilt. What have I done? They never did anything. Other than look like they crawled out of the bowels of J.J. Abrams' most bizarre erotic fantasy. Other than that. They did nothing to me. They did nothing to merit such a cruel and watery death.
In those exact words. Okay maybe they're embellished a bit.
Either way I knew there was only one option left. The words of Nietzsche out of a book I've never read flashed through my head as I aimed the power washer, finger steady on the trigger. It was time to power wash my brains out.
And the rest is history.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Villain Songs
I could be a dick and link you to TV Tropes, therefore causing you to spend the rest of your day on the site. I'll spare you the pain and assume you know what I'm talking about when I say The Villain Song.
The villain is always the coolest character.
There is no doubt about it.
They've got the evil laugh (gotta work on the *ahem* aughhhhhh)
They've got the sweet cape (let's try and forget about The Incredibles)
But most importantly, they've got that one show-stopping number filled with megalomaniacal (or sometimes just plain maniacal) euphoria, regardless of genre. And the villain never really sings about anything. Sure, they might mention bringing the hero down or ruling the world as villains ordinarily do, but for the most part it's sung just to say, yeah, I'm evil and yeah, I'm better than the hero. I'd much rather hear a villain sing about how awesome they are than about the main character's true love or some dead family member. Because face it, which one is cooler?
So I decided I'd post links to all the villain songs I absolutely love.
Oh yeah, by the way, The Nostalgia Critic did something similar and you should totally watch that one too. There might be a few overlaps, by the way, but who says everyone can't like the same songs? :B
Everyone's a Hero (Captain Hammer) - Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
First off is a song from one of my favorite Web Originals, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It could be easily argued that about a third of the songs in that movie are villain songs, since it is about a "villain," but it also strangely subverts the entire song trope by making the "hero" figure sing it. Just watch it yourself and you'll understand:
He has the whole city under his control. And he's loving it. Being an idiotic jackass to a bunch of homeless folks and admiring fans all the while rubbing in their faces that they just buy it all. Suddenly a Freeze Ray doesn't seem that horrible (that's two r's, h-o-r-r...).
The Hounds (Dr. Wily) - The Protomen
Okay. Okay. Sorry that I'm putting something remotely Mega Man related in here. But I assure you, The Protomen have strayed as far as they can from the main story making something totally new, a rock opera of epic proportions. The song doesn't really have visuals unless you count the stage directions, but the lyrics speak for themselves.
In case it's hard to understand out of context, here's the basic story: Dr. Wily has framed Dr. Light for the murder of Light's love, Emily. In order to kill her, Wily created a robot. When she's discovered dead, Wily first blames the murder on light ("what kind of man builds a machine to kill a girl...") and of course, the city is eating it up ("what was her name?" "doesn't matter... now listen!"). And then for the rest of the song he gloats. To the man whose wife was just killed. Just because Wily is that evil. Strangely, it's The Protomen's most upbeat, fast-paced, triumphant song, possibly tied with "Light up the Night." But can you blame them?
Thankless Job (The Repo Man) - Repo! The Genetic Opera
A big lipped alligator moment? Maybe. Maybe not. It's sorta hard to tell when the movie can't decide whether to be serious, campy, funny, or an homage to old horror flicks, but either way this song is just seeping with villainy pride. And it's disgusting.
There's no footage of the actual scene on YouTube... and maybe that's just as well. It's spoilery if you haven't seen the movie but what's going on is the Repo Man sings about how he relishes his job - literally repossessing body parts by murdering and/or vivisecting the victim. And he uses his current victim, one who owes intestine, as a puppet. Who he makes sing along with him. If he's not a villain I don't know who is.
(Honorable mention goes to "Gold" from Rotti Largo because of how different and emotionally charged it is, but only one Repo! song is gonna be listed here. Either way I recommend this movie just for the silliness of it all.)
Sweet Transvestite (Dr. Frank-N-Furter) - The Rocky Horror Picture Show
How could I not list this here? There's some argument all over as to whether it's a "villain song." He's not really singing about being villainous. He's singing about... well, about being a sweet transvestite. Either way, Tim Curry plays the role way to well to ignore.
A Little Priest (Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett) - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Villain song at its finest. Two fellow dabblers in evil singing - right after Sweeney's "epiphany" that in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two - about killing people and baking them into pies. Not outright saying it, mind you. They understand each other all the way.
Makes you wonder what the people you know would taste like.
...No? It doesn't? That's just weird? Forget I mentioned it then.
(Honorable mention goes to "Pretty Women" from the same movie but I think the Nostalgia Critic sums that one up quite nicely and I'd rather put one of my other favorite songs from this film on my list)
Beelzeboss (Satan) - Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny
The devil fucking rocks.
Try and make sense out of this movie other than it was a contest to see who could write a more vulgar song. It's ridiculous, often hilarious in all its sophomoric antics, but never really goes anywhere. And then in the penultimate scene, the big bad who literally just appeared has his moment in the limelight.
The devil's "villain song" is only one segment - in the middle - but it's well-worth watching the whole thing. Singing about how a.) you love metal, the music most often tagged as evil and b.) sexually enslaving Kyle Gass? (ewwwww...). Evil. In so many ways.
Oogie Boogie's Song (Oogie Boogie) - The Nightmare Before Christmas
I'm not too fond of this villain. He kinda just pops up around the end when there was already some genuine conflict going on, but you can't deny the catchiness of the song. Not to mention he's bragging about his evilness to Santa Claus. That's just a new breed of nightmare.
Of course, "Kidnap the Sandy Claus" would be a good selection too but I don't really feel like it's a villain song so much as a song sung by villains. Honorable mention though, definitely.
PRETTY MUCH ANY DISNEY MOVIE WITH A VILLAIN
Seriously. If there's anything Disney can do better than be scathingly critiqued by Cracked.com, it's make a kickass villain song. I could go on for hours listing my favorites, so I'll just go with the one I find the most powerful.
I'm not too fond of The Little Mermaid (weirdly enough considering my marine life obsession) but Ursula is really an outstanding villain figure. A true mix of both cruel and vicious yet sympathetic and misunderstood. I have trouble buying villains who are evil well, just because, but also think they need a bit of true cruelty and psychopathy. Both of which Ursula have, illustrated perfectly in this song which fluctuates between calm and reassuring to totally angry at the world and ready to slap silly little Ariel in the face.
Props go to Scar's "Be Prepared", Gaston's "Gaston" (how fucking conceited) and Frollo's "Hellfire". I just wish Hades had a song.
And that basically wraps it up. I could mention some without lyrics (Darth Vader's theme which is basically what I assume pure evil sounds like) or the Fairy Godmother's rendition of "Holding Out For a Hero" from Shrek 2 but it's hardly a villain song. The little-known musical "Starmites" has a great villain song sung by Shak Graa but I can't seem to remember the title or find a link, and the last time I saw that show was mid-January.
And there are so many others. Because face it. The world has a lot of villains, but we can never get enough.
The villain is always the coolest character.
There is no doubt about it.
They've got the evil laugh (gotta work on the *ahem* aughhhhhh)
They've got the sweet cape (let's try and forget about The Incredibles)
But most importantly, they've got that one show-stopping number filled with megalomaniacal (or sometimes just plain maniacal) euphoria, regardless of genre. And the villain never really sings about anything. Sure, they might mention bringing the hero down or ruling the world as villains ordinarily do, but for the most part it's sung just to say, yeah, I'm evil and yeah, I'm better than the hero. I'd much rather hear a villain sing about how awesome they are than about the main character's true love or some dead family member. Because face it, which one is cooler?
So I decided I'd post links to all the villain songs I absolutely love.
Oh yeah, by the way, The Nostalgia Critic did something similar and you should totally watch that one too. There might be a few overlaps, by the way, but who says everyone can't like the same songs? :B
Everyone's a Hero (Captain Hammer) - Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
First off is a song from one of my favorite Web Originals, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. It could be easily argued that about a third of the songs in that movie are villain songs, since it is about a "villain," but it also strangely subverts the entire song trope by making the "hero" figure sing it. Just watch it yourself and you'll understand:
He has the whole city under his control. And he's loving it. Being an idiotic jackass to a bunch of homeless folks and admiring fans all the while rubbing in their faces that they just buy it all. Suddenly a Freeze Ray doesn't seem that horrible (that's two r's, h-o-r-r...).
The Hounds (Dr. Wily) - The Protomen
Okay. Okay. Sorry that I'm putting something remotely Mega Man related in here. But I assure you, The Protomen have strayed as far as they can from the main story making something totally new, a rock opera of epic proportions. The song doesn't really have visuals unless you count the stage directions, but the lyrics speak for themselves.
In case it's hard to understand out of context, here's the basic story: Dr. Wily has framed Dr. Light for the murder of Light's love, Emily. In order to kill her, Wily created a robot. When she's discovered dead, Wily first blames the murder on light ("what kind of man builds a machine to kill a girl...") and of course, the city is eating it up ("what was her name?" "doesn't matter... now listen!"). And then for the rest of the song he gloats. To the man whose wife was just killed. Just because Wily is that evil. Strangely, it's The Protomen's most upbeat, fast-paced, triumphant song, possibly tied with "Light up the Night." But can you blame them?
Thankless Job (The Repo Man) - Repo! The Genetic Opera
A big lipped alligator moment? Maybe. Maybe not. It's sorta hard to tell when the movie can't decide whether to be serious, campy, funny, or an homage to old horror flicks, but either way this song is just seeping with villainy pride. And it's disgusting.
There's no footage of the actual scene on YouTube... and maybe that's just as well. It's spoilery if you haven't seen the movie but what's going on is the Repo Man sings about how he relishes his job - literally repossessing body parts by murdering and/or vivisecting the victim. And he uses his current victim, one who owes intestine, as a puppet. Who he makes sing along with him. If he's not a villain I don't know who is.
(Honorable mention goes to "Gold" from Rotti Largo because of how different and emotionally charged it is, but only one Repo! song is gonna be listed here. Either way I recommend this movie just for the silliness of it all.)
Sweet Transvestite (Dr. Frank-N-Furter) - The Rocky Horror Picture Show
How could I not list this here? There's some argument all over as to whether it's a "villain song." He's not really singing about being villainous. He's singing about... well, about being a sweet transvestite. Either way, Tim Curry plays the role way to well to ignore.
A Little Priest (Sweeney and Mrs. Lovett) - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Villain song at its finest. Two fellow dabblers in evil singing - right after Sweeney's "epiphany" that in all of the whole human race, Mrs. Lovett, there are two kinds of men and only two - about killing people and baking them into pies. Not outright saying it, mind you. They understand each other all the way.
Makes you wonder what the people you know would taste like.
...No? It doesn't? That's just weird? Forget I mentioned it then.
(Honorable mention goes to "Pretty Women" from the same movie but I think the Nostalgia Critic sums that one up quite nicely and I'd rather put one of my other favorite songs from this film on my list)
Beelzeboss (Satan) - Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny
The devil fucking rocks.
Try and make sense out of this movie other than it was a contest to see who could write a more vulgar song. It's ridiculous, often hilarious in all its sophomoric antics, but never really goes anywhere. And then in the penultimate scene, the big bad who literally just appeared has his moment in the limelight.
The devil's "villain song" is only one segment - in the middle - but it's well-worth watching the whole thing. Singing about how a.) you love metal, the music most often tagged as evil and b.) sexually enslaving Kyle Gass? (ewwwww...). Evil. In so many ways.
Oogie Boogie's Song (Oogie Boogie) - The Nightmare Before Christmas
I'm not too fond of this villain. He kinda just pops up around the end when there was already some genuine conflict going on, but you can't deny the catchiness of the song. Not to mention he's bragging about his evilness to Santa Claus. That's just a new breed of nightmare.
Of course, "Kidnap the Sandy Claus" would be a good selection too but I don't really feel like it's a villain song so much as a song sung by villains. Honorable mention though, definitely.
PRETTY MUCH ANY DISNEY MOVIE WITH A VILLAIN
Seriously. If there's anything Disney can do better than be scathingly critiqued by Cracked.com, it's make a kickass villain song. I could go on for hours listing my favorites, so I'll just go with the one I find the most powerful.
I'm not too fond of The Little Mermaid (weirdly enough considering my marine life obsession) but Ursula is really an outstanding villain figure. A true mix of both cruel and vicious yet sympathetic and misunderstood. I have trouble buying villains who are evil well, just because, but also think they need a bit of true cruelty and psychopathy. Both of which Ursula have, illustrated perfectly in this song which fluctuates between calm and reassuring to totally angry at the world and ready to slap silly little Ariel in the face.
Props go to Scar's "Be Prepared", Gaston's "Gaston" (how fucking conceited) and Frollo's "Hellfire". I just wish Hades had a song.
And that basically wraps it up. I could mention some without lyrics (Darth Vader's theme which is basically what I assume pure evil sounds like) or the Fairy Godmother's rendition of "Holding Out For a Hero" from Shrek 2 but it's hardly a villain song. The little-known musical "Starmites" has a great villain song sung by Shak Graa but I can't seem to remember the title or find a link, and the last time I saw that show was mid-January.
And there are so many others. Because face it. The world has a lot of villains, but we can never get enough.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Hey Look a Blog
I don't want to never update, despite my constant busy-ness (business? I'm so confused @_@)
So I'll leave you with a quick montage of what I've been doing lately other than blogging.
First things first, I slammed down that E-Tank Fergie style before cleaning up my yard.
I'm not new to caffeine. I drink coffee basically daily and regular old energy drinks on a frequent basis, but I'm pretty sure the euphoria of drinking this themed soda got to my head a bit and I was basically hyper for the next hour.
Then I got all dolled up to go to the gay pride parade the next day
So I buy my silly outfit with my bro Ooey and plan the bus route and everything.
And then I get the fateful call.
A call from the craft store where I work.
Silly illustrated alter-ego, what's with the badly drawn mop, outdoors at that? Do I even mop?
But yeah. Eight-hour shift with no LGBT pride shenanigans and songs that you now only hear looped in commercials for Windex and contact lenses over and over again. I never even got customers /rageface.
When it was all said and done I got pizza with some friends afterwards so that was cool.
Wait a second! That entry was lame! I need to make entries that are less personal and more uh... uh... worldly! That's it.
Eh, whatever.
*collapses on keyboarddzfsjl
So I'll leave you with a quick montage of what I've been doing lately other than blogging.
First things first, I slammed down that E-Tank Fergie style before cleaning up my yard.
 | ||
| IT TASTES JUST LIKE HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP |
Then I got all dolled up to go to the gay pride parade the next day
 |
| Rainbows everywhere! (Not an accurate depiction) |
And then I get the fateful call.
A call from the craft store where I work.
 |
| Crafts everywhere! (Somewhat accurate depiction) |
But yeah. Eight-hour shift with no LGBT pride shenanigans and songs that you now only hear looped in commercials for Windex and contact lenses over and over again. I never even got customers /rageface.
When it was all said and done I got pizza with some friends afterwards so that was cool.
Wait a second! That entry was lame! I need to make entries that are less personal and more uh... uh... worldly! That's it.
Eh, whatever.
*collapses on keyboarddzfsjl
A somewhat relevant song for the road.
Whatever happened to Saturday night~?
Friday, June 24, 2011
Keep My E-Tank Safe in Reserve Just as Long as I Can
So I went to the mall today.
And at the store Spencer's, which usually proves pretty useless, I was buying some socks.
When at the register I spotted it.
Yes. They actually sell E-Tanks. It appears to be some Mega Man-themed energy drink, but from the ingredients looks like carbonated water and corn syrup mostly. So possibly just a sweet soda sort of deal.
Why don't I know what it tastes like?
Because I need to save it. Save it for when I need it. Like for when I fight Air Man.
...yeah this blog really needs some meaningful posts. Don't judge me. Just go to Spencer's and buy the damn drink.
I'll post some photos of the can eventually.
And at the store Spencer's, which usually proves pretty useless, I was buying some socks.
When at the register I spotted it.
 | ||
| This was my exact reaction. Also animated if you click on it. |
Yes. They actually sell E-Tanks. It appears to be some Mega Man-themed energy drink, but from the ingredients looks like carbonated water and corn syrup mostly. So possibly just a sweet soda sort of deal.
Why don't I know what it tastes like?
Because I need to save it. Save it for when I need it. Like for when I fight Air Man.
...yeah this blog really needs some meaningful posts. Don't judge me. Just go to Spencer's and buy the damn drink.
I'll post some photos of the can eventually.
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