Harry Potter (Part I)

I made some butterbeer. Enjoy the picture as I get ready to work my 6 and a half hour shift and then go straight to the premier. I'll blog about how everything went afterwards~

Label written in the shittiest handwriting I could muster

12 oz cream soda + 3.5 tablespoons of butterscotch syrup. In case you wanted to know for your own premier drink enjoyment

Spiders

Normally I'm prettygentle and nice to animals if I do say so myself. I stay away from meat, try and let bugs go instead of squishing them, and all things of the sort. I've always even thought spiders were kinda cute. You know, helping out the ecosystem by eating pesky mosquitoes and all...

The thing about spiders is, I was mistaken.

Gravely mistaken.

At job #2, not the craft store one and not the animal shelter one but the one where I work around the house for a family member in the middle of nowhere, spiders are not a new thing. They tend to nest everywhere, and pop up when you least expect them, i.e. when you're painting a fence.

They're not the super-poisonous sort, mind you. Nor are they the black, bulbous things you imagine when you hear "spider." They're more of the harvestmen sort.

Despite what myths might tell you, they're not at all dangerous. But believe me, they are creepy as hell. To be honest, I'd rather fight off a black widow than have one of these long-legged bastards land on my arm just staring at me with its round, eyeless body. And it doesn't help that their long legs look like some freakish alien proboscis ready to probe you.

Picture that. In your dreams.

While one is usually not a bother (I can typically ignore them), there was something about that day. Something about the proximity to the woods, and the eerie stillness in the air. As if... there were no flies, no mosquitoes, not even a lone hornet that braved this part of the fence. Little did I know I was being watched.

Ewwwww, a spider.

That's when the revelation hit me.

They're everywhere.

Little did they know, I was armed. Armed with a power washer. And you don't scare Kopaka13 when Kopaka13 is armed.

THIS TOOK 5 SECONDS TO DRAW OK

 All rationality and sanity vanished about then. My conscience tried to warn me about the serious karmic repercussions of actions such as these, but stupidly it took the form of a cricket.

Let's just say that's the last I'll be hearing from him for a while.

DO YOU WANT SOME OF THIS

At that moment there was more overzealous water-spraying than there would be had somebody provided Gilmour and Water fire hoses and pitted them against each other in a death match back in '79 (if that metaphor makes any sense idunnolol)

This shittily thrown together piece of silhouette action cannot properly describe the paranoia that passed in those passing seconds. And that's when... it all stopped. I was filled with tremendous guilt. What have I done? They never did anything. Other than look like they crawled out of the bowels of J.J. Abrams' most bizarre erotic fantasy. Other than that. They did nothing to me. They did nothing to merit such a cruel and watery death.

In those exact words. Okay maybe they're embellished a bit.

Either way I knew there was only one option left. The words of Nietzsche out of a book I've never read flashed through my head as I aimed the power washer, finger steady on the trigger. It was time to power wash my brains out.

 

 

And the rest is history.

Hey Look a Blog

I don't want to never update, despite my constant busy-ness (business? I'm so confused @_@)

So I'll leave you with a quick montage of what I've been doing lately other than blogging.

First things first, I slammed down that E-Tank Fergie style before cleaning up my yard.

IT TASTES JUST LIKE HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP

I'm not new to caffeine. I drink coffee basically daily and regular old energy drinks on a frequent basis, but I'm pretty sure the euphoria of drinking this themed soda got to my head a bit and I was basically hyper for the next hour.

Then I got all dolled up to go to the gay pride parade the next day

Rainbows everywhere! (Not an accurate depiction)

So I buy my silly outfit with my bro Ooey and plan the bus route and everything.

And then I get the fateful call.

A call from the craft store where I work.

Crafts everywhere! (Somewhat accurate depiction)

Silly illustrated alter-ego, what's with the badly drawn mop, outdoors at that? Do I even mop?

But yeah. Eight-hour shift with no LGBT pride shenanigans and songs that you now only hear looped in commercials for Windex and contact lenses over and over again. I never even got customers /rageface.

When it was all said and done I got pizza with some friends afterwards so that was cool.

Wait a second! That entry was lame! I need to make entries that are less personal and more uh... uh... worldly! That's it.

Eh, whatever.

*collapses on keyboarddzfsjl

 

A somewhat relevant song for the road.

Whatever happened to Saturday night~?